Wednesday, September 7, 2011

First Campaigner Challenge - Flash Fiction

The following is a sample of flash fiction. The rules of the challenge were as follows:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

Here's my entry. I took on the extra challenges. It begins and ends with the given words and the length is exactly 200 words. Enjoy

"The door swung open with a crash, half from her fury, half from the fury of the storm outside. By the look on her face, she was bringing as much of the storm inside as she could. She reached into her coat, pulled a large black object out and slammed it to the table. All the while, she's staring me down with a look that could've cut glass."

"What’d she slam on the table?"

"A gun! A goddamn gun! In my house! This woman walks into my house, drenched to the core, pulls out a gun and slams it on my dining room table. The rain dripped off her face and her lips quivered with rage."

"What'd she say?"

"Nothing at first. Just a solid stare. Not even sure she was breathing. I said, 'Hi.' She said nothing. Just kept on staring. I shrugged my shoulders. She says, 'He's dead and it's your fault.'"

"Who?"

"Damned if I knew. I’d never seen her before in my life. But, she looked me down like we’d had history. Bad history.”

“What’d she do then?”

“Turned on her heels and left. Walked back out into the storm.”

“And then?”

“The door swung shut.”

27 comments:

  1. At first I was a smidge confused, but then I saw what you were doing with the story retold through conversation. The events are certainly attention-grabbing, and the characters have plenty of room to breath. Nice job!

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  2. you do great dialogue. I really enjoyed your piece!

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  3. Cool. Darn, now I want to know the rest of the story.

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  4. @Sarah - Thanks! Yeah, the whole "he said/she said" had to go out the window with the limited word count. :)

    @Cristina - Thank you. I pride myself on my dialogue. It tends to carry all of my stories...sometimes too much!

    @Don - I have trouble writing short stories, and I've rarely ever written flash fiction, so I was pretty pleased with this. It speaks to something greater, but also works as a vignette.

    Thanks to everyone for stopping by! :D

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  5. Like Cristina said, awesome dialogue. Big fan of it myself. This made the story read really fast for me. If only we knew what the woman was talking about. Now I want to know!

    Great job, Andy! :)

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  6. Fun dialog! It definitely leaves me intrigued!

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  7. Very nice! As most have said, the dialogue was great. Good imagery, too. This is perfect flash fiction! Also? I love your blog design!

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  8. Great dialog! It sounded realistic and came across natural. Nice job!

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  9. <> Holy crap! btw, I wonder if it's possible she got the wrong address??

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  10. I want to know more! :)I'm #247 from the campaign and new follower.

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  11. Great twist on the challenge! I love the hard-boiled sounding voices in this. :)

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  12. Great story. Very clever idea to make it a dialogue -- took me a moment to realize what was happening. Left me wanting to know more.

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  13. Haha! Funny story. Case of mistaken identity? Good thing she wasn't the murdering kind.

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  14. I like it. I love the flow of it. good job. Mine is #72

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  15. Holy cow! That was so creative...all dialogue. Genius I tell you! You get my vote. Now off to follow your blog :)

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  16. Thanks for all the comments everyone! Glad everyone seems to like this little snapshot. If you like that...you'll love my book. ;)

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  17. very cool. looks like we got dropped into the conversation which makes us want to know the before's and after's. nice (melissa #204)

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  18. This is great! The voice. The way you unfolded the story. Well done!

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  19. Thanks so much for the kind comments...and for stopping by! :)

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  20. Love the story, and love it retold through your fantastic dialogue.

    But, ugh! who's dead?! Who is she?!

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  21. The first dialogue only story I've seen! Good job!

    I am number 55 on the linky list.

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  22. I like it! Not at all sure what it was about but very coherent and intriguing. You get a vote from me!

    Stobby

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  23. Well done! Like everone else, I want more! :D

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  24. I like how it's a conversation! Leaves so many more questions unanswered. Well done. :)

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  25. Hey! I’ve listed you as a recipient of the Liebster Blog Award and the Versatile Blogger Award. You can find the details here: http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-feeling-love.html Congrats!

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  26. Not the Liebster...anything but the Liebster! ;) Thanks so much Jessica!

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